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How Do You Co-Parent When You Can't Get Along With Your Ex?

Whether you’re a parent who is contemplating, going through or already divorced; the well-being of your children is often a chief concern. While there are plenty of articles and advice columns written about how effective co-parenting arrangements benefit children of divorce, in some cases, these types of arrangements simply aren’t realistic.

What do you do when your ex-spouse is a narcissist or someone with whom you simply cannot effectively communicate or get along? If you and your ex-spouse are embroiled in a high-conflict relationship, attempting to co-parent isn’t only challenging and stressful for you, but may also be damaging to your children.

Is it time for you to sign a postnuptial agreement?

The benefits of having a prenuptial agreement on file are clear. Regardless your financial situation, a prenuptial agreement will make divorce -- if it becomes necessary in your case -- far easier, faster, cheaper and less stressful. However, what can already-married couples do now to receive these same benefits if they don't have a prenup on file?

A postnuptial agreement is similar to a prenup in all respects. The only difference is that couples complete the document after marriage has occurred. You might think that prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements are a sign that you don't have faith in the strength of your marriage. However, these documents can actually help to smooth out tension and increase the chances that your marriage endures -- especially where financial tensions are concerned.

What questions should I ask before filing for divorce?

Often one of the most important elements in life is not about the information we know; it's about our ability to ask the right questions. According to a recent New York times article, the same may be true for divorce. The article details questions posed by divorce experts. These questions, when asked by those considering divorce, could help spouses make their divorce happen smoother, or avoid divorce altogether.

Here are four of the questions you may want to ask your spouse and yourself before filing the divorce papers:

How signing a prenup can be beneficial for a young professional

Many who marry young and have little to no assets to their name would never think twice about drafting a prenup before marrying. For one, they believe that their love story is meant to last. And second, they feel as if they have nothing now, so what do they have to protect from their soon-to-be spouse's grasp? Relationship experts argue couples have more to lose from not signing a prenup than they might think.

Even though you might think you're head over heels in love with your mate, life happens. Partners experience a shift in feelings and unforeseen circumstances arise making it impossible to continue making your marriage work. In situations such as this, a prenuptial agreement can make an equitable distribution of assets a much quicker process.

Tri-parenting custody agreements

It's not too long ago that a judge responsible for making a decision in a custody dispute only had to decide whether it was in the child's best interest to be taken care of primarily by mom or dad. Occasionally, there would be a circumstance in which an aunt or uncle, sibling, stepparent, or grandparent would make a case as to why they should be allowed to raise the child as well.

Recently, though, there have been an increasing amount of custody cases that have been fought across this country that would allow not just two, but three distinct parties to stake their claim as to who can best uphold the best interests of the child.

Reasons you may request a divorce in New York

When filing for divorce in New York, it's required that you state the grounds on which you're seeking to dissolve your marriage. You cannot mark down just any reason, but instead must choose one among seven different legally acceptable options that are allowable under Domestic Relations Law (DRL) §170.

Perhaps one of the most common reasons spouses request a divorce is because they deem their marriage to be irretrievably broken down. This option is commonly referred to as a no-fault divorce. In order to be eligible to file for a dissolution of your marriage under DRL § 170 (7), you must be able to prove that the breakdown in your relationship has lasted in excess of six continuous months.

Factors that impact whether you'll retain custody of your child

In determining which parent should be awarded custody, a judge's decision will center around what's in the best interest of the child. In doing so, he or she will look at a number of aspects of the parents' lives and their relationship with their child in hopes of making a decision that will best allow the child to live a happy and productive life.

When it comes to making parental assessments, the judge will focus on determining which parent has the financial means to adequately provide for the child's basic essentials such as food, shelter, clothing and medical care. Because research has shown that children thrive in more stable environments, judges tend to spend significant time in attempting to understand which parent is both physically and mentally stable as well.

What constitutes a legal separation in New York?

In moving forward in filing for divorce, couples are required to draft a Separation Agreement. Courts think of this document as a type of spousal contract whereby both parties agree to certain conditions as the grounds for settling their divorce.

This is why it requires that both spouses collaborate in drafting this document and signing it. If a spouse either cannot be found or is having difficulty in agreeing with his or her ex, then other legal avenues may have to be pursued to ultimately be granted a divorce.

4 Basic Rules Of Successful Co-Parenting

When a marriage ends, there are sometimes unresolved and negative feelings that linger between exes. If you and your ex have children together, it’s especially important to find a way to work through these issues and remove any barriers to developing a healthy co-parenting relationship.

While every divorce and co-parenting relationship is unique, the following are four basic guidelines that divorced parents should do their best to observe.

Understanding how remarriage impacts child support payments

Among one of the more common questions that family law attorneys get asked is whether child support obligations will be impacted by remarriage. While, as a general rule of thumb, a parent's new marriage does not impact the amount of child support they're responsible for paying, there are some circumstances under which the new spouse's finances may be adversely impacted.

If the child support paying parent remarries, while his or her own personal income can be tapped or garnished to pay both current and outstanding child support, the same does not hold true for that individual's new spouse. A judge is also not allowed to take into consideration the non-parent's wages in determining how much spousal support should be awarded either.

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