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What questions should I ask before filing for divorce?

Often one of the most important elements in life is not about the information we know; it's about our ability to ask the right questions. According to a recent New York times article, the same may be true for divorce. The article details questions posed by divorce experts. These questions, when asked by those considering divorce, could help spouses make their divorce happen smoother, or avoid divorce altogether.

Here are four of the questions you may want to ask your spouse and yourself before filing the divorce papers:

-- Have you communicated your worries about your relationship clearly with your spouse? Not everyone is a good listener, and even if you think you told your spouse about your concerns, he or she may not have acknowledged the seriousness of them. Be sure that your spouse knows what you're worried about in the space of your relationship.

-- Do both of you have the same expectations concerning your roles in the relationship? Check in with your spouse to make sure that your idea of the tasks and obligations you should be fulfilling in your relationship are the same as his or hers.

-- Is there any way that your marriage could be saved? Even if it's a make-it-or-break-it ultimatum, if this one change could be enough to save your marriage, it's important to tell your spouse about it. This gives your spouse the opportunity to step up to the plate and make this change a reality, or reject it as impossible. You should encourage your spouse to do the same with you.

-- Will life be better apart from your spouse? Be honest when answering this question and it could illuminate a lot for you. Perhaps make a list of the pros and cons of being apart to determine if dissolving your marriage is truly the best option for you.

Asking the right questions is so important in life. A family and marriage counselor can help you other questions to ask yourself before getting a divorce to examine the emotional aspects of your breakup. Our office if you decide to end your marriage. Please call our office at (212) 856-7273 for an appointment.

Source: "11 Questions to Ask Before Getting a Divorce," Eric V. Copage, accessed July 07, 2017

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