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New York City Divorce Legal Blog

2 reasons for divorce: Unequal contribution and lack of intimacy

There are so many reasons why divorces happen that it's enough to make your head spin - especially when you're trying to sort through the puzzle pieces of a failed relationship that didn't involve an obvious problem like infidelity, abuse or drug addiction. Still, it's human nature to "figure out" what led to our divorces.

With this in mind, here are two reasons for divorce that may not be entirely obvious: an unequal contribution in the relationship and a lack of intimacy.

Do children get a say in custody proceedings?

New York actually has one of the lowest divorce rates in the country. In 2016, only 12.9 out of every 1,000 married couples divorced, which is substantially lower than in other states where the rate can get over 20 per 1,000 couples. 

One of the most contentious issues in any divorce involves child custody. There are many factors a judge takes into consideration when determining whom the child will spend time with. These factors include each parent's emotional health, each parent's ability to provide a stable home and any history of domestic violence. However, another factor that can come up if the child is old enough and mature enough is the child's own preference. 

Who is an 80-20 parenting time plan good for?

Perhaps the most difficult thing about child custody proceedings is the realization that your children are not going to be living with you full-time anymore. You'll have to give up your kids on certain days so they can spend with their other parent, and in some cases, you might have to give up your kids for most of the time. If you're certain that your children are best served by having one permanent home and living with you, or the other spouse, most of the time - the 80-20 parenting schedule might be good for you and your family.

If the majority of the following list is true for you and your spouse, then the 80-20 plan might be appropriate for your needs:

  • Your child is happier living in one home instead of dividing his or her time between two residences
  • Parents live a long distance from one another and child exchanges are inconvenient or time-consuming
  • One parent has always served as the primary caretaker for the child
  • One parent frequently travels or has a busier than usual or strange work schedule
  • The parents both agree that an 80-20 schedule is best for their children

Don't make these mistakes in your divorce

Imagine you're about to file for divorce, but you haven't learned very much about the process. You think you know what's ahead because you've heard about divorce from your friends and watched legal proceedings on television, Nevertheless, you could be setting yourself up for disaster if you don't seek professional assistance to help you navigate your marital dissolution.

Here are some divorce mistakes that a professional family law attorney will help you avoid:

How to keep a legal record of your parenting contribution

Taking care of a tiny baby is no small task, and your parenting responsibilities don't stop as your child grows older; they simply evolve. You have to prepare your children for school, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, transport your child to various activities before and after your work, attend sporting events, take your child out for entertainment, read bedtime stories and so much more. It's a miracle that any parent can do all these things, but that's what you do every day of the week.

The question is: Have you ever considered keeping a journal of everything you do for your kids? If not, no matter your marital situation, you might want to consider doing it for legal purposes. Think of your child care journal as a parental insurance policy. It could serve as a valuable piece of evidence if your parenting contribution is ever challenged in a child custody lawsuit.

3 common prenuptial agreement problems

The benefits of a prenuptial agreement — as a kind of emergency divorce action plan — are clear. Spouses who create these documents tend to benefit from easier, faster, less stressful and costly divorce proceedings. However, there are also some downsides to prenuptial agreements that couples need to know about before they enter into them.

Here's what you should know about prenuptial agreements:

We must share and share alike in marriage: Did your spouse cheat?

The idea that spouses share everything with one another and don't have any secrets is a beautiful concept. Indeed, you should expect no less in a healthy marriage. However, if your marriage is ending in divorce, you probably didn't have the healthiest of marital unions. It may have been downright toxic, involved extra-marital affairs and your spouse might have even lied to you. Considering how bad some marriages can be, it shouldn't be a surprise that hiding marital assets in a divorce is - although illegal - exceedingly common.

Spouses who believe that their husbands or wives have been dishonestly hiding assets from them during divorce proceedings need to get to the bottom of the mystery as soon as possible. Here are two ways that spouses track down hidden money:

3 essentials for a peaceful future with your co-parent

If you're in the process of divorcing the other parent of your children, you and your soon-to-be ex will need to agree on vital issues relating to your future co-parenting relationship. These issues relate to child custody, parenting time, child support, how you will navigate child exchanges and how you will navigate disputes if and when they arise.

When you come to agreement on these issues, perhaps through a divorce mediation process, you will codify the issues you've agreed to in a carefully drafted parenting agreement. Here's what a responsible co-parent should be sure to include in such an agreement:

What's the first thing you should do before marriage?

Many soon-to-be newlyweds are excited to begin their new lives together, but before they take the plunge into marriage there's something that they may want to consider -- signing a prenuptial agreement. As unromantic as this might sound, a prenuptial agreement will be extremely helpful if the marriage ends in divorce, as approximately 33 percent of marriages do.

In between making marriage plans and setting the wedding date, couples should draft and sign their prenuptial agreements as soon as possible. The earlier they do so, with as much time as possible before the marriage plans have been set in stone, the more likely the prenup will hold up in court. If couples wait until the final hour, for example, they may find that a prenup has less chance of withstanding a challenge on the grounds that the lesser-moneyed spouse signed the document as a result of being pressured or coerced.

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