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Are you really ready for divorce, or is it just a threat?

No matter which side of a divorce you happen to be on, whether it's your idea or your partner's, when the question of breaking up your marriage is on the table, you need to consider if you're truly ready for such a life-altering course of action. In fact, the idea of divorce might only be a threat, and a hollow one at that.

There are many reasons why someone might threaten divorce but not actually mean it. Sometimes, the person threatening divorce might not even realize that the idea doesn't have any legs. They're just using the threat instinctively as a means to gain control. Below are some of the main reasons for issuing such a threat.

  • Without thinking through the repercussions: It was an idle threat spoken during the heat of an argument.
  • Through anger: Had the spouse not been so angry, he or she never would have considered something like that.
  • To gain control: The spouse may have made the threat in order to manipulate the other spouse into accepting his or her position.
  • To be heard: Sometimes using the "D-word" will help get the other spouse's attention when nothing else will, and it's just an attempt to be taken seriously.
  • To send out a warning signal: Perhaps the person mentions divorce because he or she needs to send a warning signal that the marriage is currently on the rocks.

Have you been in a situation that involved one or more of the reasons cited above for using the "D-word?" If you're truly prepared for divorce, then you should consider whether you are ready to close this chapter in your life, whether you're at peace with your decision and whether you can't give any more to your marriage. A New York family law attorney can assist you with weighing your options and what you can expect if you truly wish to move forward with the divorce process.

Source: Mediate, "Are You Really Ready for Divorce? The 8 Questions You Need to Ask," Bruce Derman, Wendy Gregson, accessed Nov. 3, 2017

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