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Talking to kids about divorce: What do psychologists say?

Nobody ever said that talking to your children about your divorce process will be easy, but according to psychologists, you need to consider how you plan to do it carefully. Consider the moment you break the news as if it were a "freeze frame" in your child's mind. It will stay there, possibly for his or her entire life -- so do it the right way.

Here's what you might want to do when bringing up the divorce topic with your kids according to psychologists:

  1. Set the right kind of circumstances for "the talk": Never underestimate how important this moment will be for your children.
  2. Tell all the kids at the same time: You might be tempted to tell your children separately, but it's best to present the divorce to your entire family as a whole. Both mom and dad should be there, and all of the kids, regardless of how old they are. You can then break up the children for separate talks to convey age-appropriate information.
  3. Don't blame the other parent: Never blame the other parent. Tell your kids that it was an adult decision between you and the other parent and it was mutual. Ensure them that you will continue loving them no matter what, and the divorce doesn't have anything to do with their behavior or their actions.

Are you considering a divorce? One of the best things you can do to support your children is to finish your divorce swiftly and peacefully. Fortunately, there are numerous divorce mediation and settlement strategies that can help parents do exactly that.

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